The Cancer Couple

“I probably have leukemia,” said Carla. I sat still, stunned and speechless, which in my case doesn’t happen very often. Deep breath.

She had gone to a doctor, and a blood test showed that there were way more lymphocytes (a type of white blood cell) in her blood than normal. A second blood test confirmed it. She has since had a PET (positron emission tomography) scan to assess whether it is affecting her liver or spleen, and, thank the Lord, it is not. That scan also demonstrated that, while she has a moderate number of affected nodes, only some of them are significantly enlarged. This turns out to be stage 1 CLL (chronic lymphocytic leukemia), which simply means that both the lymphocyte level is up and there are some enlarged lymph nodes. Her oncologist—it’s odd for me to be using that phrase—essentially said that, if you have to have leukemia, this is the type to have. Carla is almost completely asymptomatic. While she has some swollen lymph nodes, she does not feel like she has cancer. She is neither anemic nor are her platelet levels low. Many CLL patients never have to be treated, and many die of completely unrelated conditions. Consequently, Carla and her doctor will be doing what is called watchful waiting, which is what I’m doing with my oncologist. Thank the Lord that we are in this position, rather than dealing with acute cancer.

Here are three things that I’ve been thinking about. First, as I did when I was diagnosed with follicular lymphoma, I asked the Lord if this diagnosis was the result of sin in my life. Self-examination, when it isn’t excessively introspective, is a good practice for a believer. If we humbly criticize ourselves, we can avoid judgement in this life, which can include illness and can be as extreme as death (I Corinthians 11:27-31). You might be wondering why I’d be concerned about my personal sin possibly causing Carla to have health problems. Consider the fact that God, as a result of King David’s sin, gave David the option of having a plague in the land as the result of David’s personal sin (II Samuel 24:11-13). God uses lots of different kinds of things to bring disobedient children back to His side, and there are neither logical nor scriptural reasons why He could not use cancer in Carla’s life as a means to deal with me. When I asked God about this, His answer was immediate, simple, and clear. He reminded me of this discussion with his disciples:

As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him. (John 9:1-3 ESV)

Carla’s diagnosis is not the result of any sin in my life or her life but is intended to be used to show God’s works to others. We don’t yet know what that will look like.

Second, I’m supposed to respond to Carla in an understanding manner. This is, in fact, a command to any husband that is a child of God:

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. (I Peter 3:7 ESV)

Sometimes men say that they “don’t understand women,” and the implication is that they just can’t understand their wives. While a husband may have a difficult time understanding his wife, God still expects the husband to treat her in an understanding manner. I like the way Jamieson, Fausset, and Brown put it in their commentary: We must be “acting with tenderness and forbearance accordingly: wisely: with wise consideration.” In this case, the general characteristics and medical care of Carla’s leukemia and my lymphoma are almost eerily similar, and God has thoroughly and uniquely prepared me to relate to her and support her. I must say, though, I find that it’s a little weird to be comparing PET scan experiences with her.

Third, God is always right in everything that He does, and He is directing the course of human events. I’d like to echo Abraham’s words when he was reasoning with God about the fate of Sodom and Gomorrah:

Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?

(Genesis 18:25 KJV)