During the latter third of the winter/spring semester of the 2013-14 academic year there were many mornings when I woke up feeling sick, something like the onset of nausea, although I never got completely nauseated. I attributed this simply to it being a very stressful semester. Was this an early sign of cancer? It's possible, I suppose, but I don't know and I don't know of any way to know. Try saying that five times rapidly.
At the end of the school year and into the first part of the summer I experienced extreme fatigue for about six weeks. I went to the doctor and we did a bunch of blood tests and everything we checked came back normal (except for one number that was such a teensy bit above normal that it was safe to ignore). We concluded that it was simply the accumulation of fatigue and that it would be resolved with adequate rest. I made a solo trip to visit some friends in Florida to do some saltwater fishing—this was great fun even though the fishing was so-so—and within a week or so of returning my fatigue disappeared. Problem resolved. Or was it? Hmmm, I do wonder if the fatigue was a warning sign.
While I was in Florida staying at my friends' house I used a bathroom with a skylight. One very bright day the sun was shining through the skylight and I saw a lump on the right side of my neck. Difficult to measure, but it looked roughly oblong and perhaps about one inch wide by about two inches long. It was easy to see from the right angle, and I wonder how long it had been there. No tenderness, no fever. Feeling just fine except there was a big lump staring at me in the mirror. What would you think if it were you?
I was quite disturbed and immediately called my doctor's office in Greenville. "Can you come in tomorrow? No, I'm in Florida." I exercised my will and read some thoughts and scripture from a devotional book that some friends at church had given me for my birthday. And I talked with the Lord. God immediately started to give me grace to deal with it. I explained the situation to Carla and saw my doctor the following Monday after I got back.
One theory was that it might be an infection, and so I took an antibiotic for 10 days. No change. Could I have had mononucleosis and the lump was residual from that? One more blood test. Nope, it wasn't mono, either. Next I went to a surgeon who checked me out and discussed things with me. We then did a chest X-ray, a CT scan, and yet another blood test. It was during these tests that a woman at the medical testing facility thought—very seriously, actually thought—that I was the inspiration for some show named Breaking Bad. That's another story (and a quite funny one, I think), and if you're interested you can find it on my Facebook. All of these things came back normal, and I was referred to an ear/nose/throat doctor, or ENT.
He did some ultrasound and a needle biopsy (fine needle aspiration, if you want the technical term) which came back showing no malignancy. The ENT recommended taking it out regardless, which he did last Monday (August 18) at Greenville Memorial Hospital. I was thankful to go home that night and I missed only three days of faculty in-service at BJU. He told Carla that the tissue mass didn't look completely normal but not completely abnormal, either. Translation: It was something between "everything is OK" and "it's all cancer." That Wednesday the ENT called me with the pathology report. I have B cell non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. In other words, cancer.
Several weeks earlier while contemplating the challenges of the upcoming school year the Lord had impressed on my heart part of II Chronicles 5:13 (ESV): "For he is good, for his steadfast love [or mercy KJV or loving-kindness Darby] endures forever." This is just as true now as it was a few weeks ago. God is giving me the grace that I need, and He is going to use this in my life and in the lives of others. I've been prioritizing things at school and at home and am trying to prepare for the worst while hoping for the best. It's become clear that I'm going to have to work at not thinking about it too much of the time. Some of you know that I have a somewhat fragile sleep schedule, and I didn't sleep too well last week. This is a good time to remember that on more than one occasion Jesus was troubled in His spirit (see John 11 and 13).
Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma (NHL) is a cancer that starts in lymphocytes,
which are a category of white blood cells. I'm not an expert in this
disease and have no desire to become one, and so I'm not in a position
to answer a lot of questions about it. If you're interested in reading
about it, the American Cancer Society has a good description of NHL. My cancer is B cell
NHL. B cells make antibodies, and there are lots of kinds of B cell
non-Hodgkin's lymphoma: I don't yet know which type I have. I'll be seeing an oncologist on Tuesday, September 9, and I don't know what we'll do first. I'll keep you posted.
